I said Multi Sport. I Didn't Say Multi Event

I’m not that bright. Really.

When I signed up for this, I knew that my training would be hard. I’d have to be incredibly disciplined and push myself through a lot of hard workouts. But hey, I've done 5 marathons, more than a dozen half marathons, a century and countless VERY long rides - I can muscle through the pain.

When training for a triathlon, most intelligent individuals figure out a schedule based on the length of their tri and stick with it. For example, if you’re focusing on an Olympic distance tri, your swim/run/bike workouts are no longer than the distance you ultimately race (1.5 km/40km/10km). If intelligent triatletes follow a tri schedule, then I’m not the brightest bulb in the box because I signed up for a century (100 miles on a bike), a few triathlons and a half marathon - all in the same summer. As a result, I get to have fun training well beyond my tri distances AND still focus on my tri schedule. Yes, it’s possible, but its not fun.

For example, on Saturday I ran 10 fast miles and biked 70 on Sunday and yes, my body hurts. If I was intelligent, those numbers would be more like 6 and 26. Sure I’m a lot more fit than I need to be, but I’m also a lot more sore than I need to be. I’m trying to look on the bright side of this – when I do the Jackson Country tri in a few weeks, that 10k will be a piece of cake, my endurance is probably phenomenal and my tolerance for pain is probably pretty good, but geeze, this hurts.

Often I look at my dog and say “You’re awfully cute, but you’re just not very bright.” Little did I know that he’s saying the exact same thing about me.

Midwest Mayhem Tri – DONE!

Yup, put this one in the record books - my first official sprint distance tri is done and I really loved it. No, I didn't win the event (heck I doubt that I even placed in my age group), but damn, I had a great time. Best of all, I felt great doing it and NO, the vultures that I saw on Friday stayed away from me.

Getting up at the butt crack of dawn is tough – heck, even Cooper looked at me funny when the alarm clock went off this morning at 4:45. Normally, Sunday morning at Haus Zehnder can range from a nice leisurely morning of breakfast in front of the TV to a hellaciously hot 70 miler. Today, Sunday consisted of a drive to Lawrence with my bike and all my Tri accoutrements packed in the truck, followed by a quick dip in a lake, a nice fast 11 mile ride and a fun 3.1 mile run to top it all off. Pretty much the trappings of a great day.

The swim: I have to say, of all of the events in triathlon, my toughest has to be the swim. Today was no exception. I swam a nice even pace, had reasonably good form, didn't tire and my exit was good. My sighting, however, left something to be desired. I could blame it on the size (or lack of) of the buoys, but I probably swam 100+ yards more than I had to – not a good way to take seconds off the clock.

The bike: If I’m good at any of the three events, it’s definitely the bike – it’s where I make up my time that I lose in the water. Today La Machina treated me well. While I was almost two minutes slower than my friend Dan coming out of the water, I passed him two miles into the bike. While today’s bike course was really hilly, I rode the downhills well and geared properly on the ups. All in all, a nice, fast ride.

The run: Not excellent, not bad. Because I didn't have an operational Garmin with me, I have no idea what my pace was, but I felt that I was running somewhere around a 9 minute pace. Perhaps I should have fueled better on the bike, perhaps I could have run a bit faster, but I felt really good when I finished. A great way to end a race.

• You say that you should always learn from everything you do. Triathlon is no exception:
• Not only bring your Garmin. Make sure that it’s fully charged.
• On the swim, sight the buoys, don’t just follow the guys in front of you. They might not know where they're going.
• Bring defog and flip-flops. Foggy goggles and crap between your toes aren’t fun.
• MOST importantly - make sure your post race brewpub is open. Eating a mediocre burger and drinking bottled beer is not an appropriate reward after a race.

Ahh...Vacation

My wife and I are spending a long weekend down at Table Rock Lake. For those of you who don’t know where Table Rock Lake is, it’s in Southwest Missouri, a mere stones throw from two of America’s great sociology experiments: Arkansas and Branson Missouri. Just a few of the interesting things I’ve seen:

The Rich Dude and His Inheritor

Last night at our resort I spied a curious entourage heading for one of the large yachts in the marina:

• Very old rich dude (walking, but near death).
• An Anna Nicole Smith looking chick wearing way too much makeup, stripper heels and a really bad outfit, holding the above skeleton’s hand.
• A few folks that looked to be his immediate family.
• A servant / attendant carrying a box of liquor
• A nurse clad in scrubs (obviously there to perform CPR on the dude (or not, if Anna requested)
• Two poodle/Bichon frizse looking things being towed by Anna.

I sooooo wish that I had a picture to share. Mental note: Get iPhone.

The Great Mall Experiment

Today my wife dragged me kicking and screaming to an outlet mall (yes I survived). Going to an outlet mall close to the Arkansas border is one massive sociology experiment and allows you to observe first hand the obesity epidemic in America. Scary. Really scary. Again…need to get Smartphone.

Branson

Ah Branson – the Midwest’s own version of Vegas sans porn. In our short drive down the “strip” I think I saw every fast food and franchised restaurant in America in one location along with dinner theaters featuring every has been of American musical/comedy fame. Scary but true, Dolly Parton has her Dixieland Stampede, Roy Clark has his theater, Yakov Smirnov does a show and even the Osmonds have a musical. Yup, its frightening – but its Branson.

Ode to the Cheeseburger

Those of you that know me know I love to cook (and eat). Those of you that run with me on the Runner's Edge team know that I talk about food when I run. I have a few foods that I love, one of which is the humble cheeseburger. We're not talking MickeyD's here. We're talking about that rare piece of heaven best gotten from a dive that’s dark, greasy and has been in the same location for 50 years. Personally I like my burgers unadulterated - a little lettuce, tomato, some pickles, mayo and ketchup. No bleu cheese, avocado, chili, wilted kale, peanut butter or any other crap that Californians* are throwing on their burgers just to appear cool and sophisticated.

My personal favorites: Lew’s in Waldo and the Flea in Westport. Note, that I fail to mention any places out in CA. There are none.** You get ostracized out there for eating beef. You can get a soy burger to go with your jasmine infused pomegranate juice, but not a hunk of pure Midwest beef like you find here in God's country. A word about Lew’s: They serve a burger called the Big Lew - it’s a 2/3 pound burger stuffed with cheese - need I say more? So it’s probably about 2000 calories when you throw a couple of pints of cheap beer in, but hey, I work out for a reason.

So why all of the talk about burgers in a blog dedicated to my quest to become a lean mean tri machine? Because that’s why I bust my butt out there in the hot sun, transform myself into a salmon constantly swimming upstream or haul my ass up a hill on La Machina – so I can eat whatever I want without an ounce of guilt.

* Disclaimer: As a former normal Californian (which I might add is now an endangered species), I am allowed to call my brethren in my former home weird, nuts, odd and any other description that can be construed as derogatory. Also, it's my blog and I can do what I want.

** Ok, so In N Out is pretty damn good. But it’s a fast food burger, so that doesn’t really qualify. Sorry Paul.